it’s just a bowl
Why does Chipotle call a burrito bowl a “burrito bowl”? It’s not a burrito if it’s in a bowl, then it’s just a bowl of rice and beans.
escape room
I was at a restaurant recently and I had to use the bathroom. I’m in awe of all the guys who use the bathroom who still don’t wash their hands. There’s absolutely no shame in their game. I’m the complete opposite. I usually wash my hands before and after dinner. I’m scared to even touch the bathroom handle. I pray that bathroom has a foot door opener. I’m always using the foot pull but you need to have a good core and lower body strength to use that foot pull. It’s tough to swing a bathroom door open with your foot. Make sure you do squats and calf raises because you don’t want to pull a hammy trying to get out of the bathroom. I get nervous when there isn’t a foot pull. I feel like I’m trapped. The bathroom turns into to an escape room. “OH NO…HOW AM I GOING TO GET OUT!” I’ll wait for someone to come in before I touch that greasy fecal matter infected handle. I might be in there an extra 30 minutes until someone opens that door.
womb for one
Everyone is anxious these days. I like to think I was anxious before it was cool. I remember being anxious when I was a baby. I was actually a anxious fetus. A lot of people don’t know that about me. I was stressed out in the womb. I was nervous for the birth of me. I was a c section baby meaning I had no choice to come out. They cut my mom open and said ‘you’re ready’. I was taken out of the womb without consent. If that was nowadays I could’ve gotten those doctors canceled. If it was my way I’d still be in the womb hanging out. I’d be a grown @ss man in the womb.
home fomo
I used to have FOMO real bad. I had the Fear Of Missing Out. Now I don’t as I have gotten older and started a family. I have FOMO when I leave the house when I’m with my friends. I have the Fear of Being Left Out by my family not friends. I get jealous when I’m out and my gf and the kids are sleeping. I have the fear of missing out on sleep. I get jealous of people who sleep now. I want a good night’s rest. I want to feel good the next day. I’d rather be at home at night than be out. I got to get my sleep.
thuder storm
While sleeping in the middle of the night I heard a loud thud. I was too tired to get up to see what it was so I went back to sleep. That’s a lie. The real reason was I was scared to see what the ‘thud’ was about. It was a loud thud. As the ‘man’ of the house I should’ve taken action but I stayed safely in my bed. I didn’t hear any screams, cries, or yells so I didn’t bother. If I did I would’ve taken action. I would’ve nudged my gf to call 911. The next morning we found out the thud was our 5 year old son falling out of his bed. He eventually made it back to his bed. I’m glad he did. I’m glad we didn’t find him on the floor of his room with a broken arm.
not a b
My step daughter was complaining about her step mom to me and my gf. It can be very entertaining to listen to her talk. She will go off on tangents. She was saying how her step mom was acting like a “b” as in b*tch. She went on to explain how we were not b’s. She tends to over indulge. She didn’t have to tell us we were not b’s but I’m glad she confirmed we weren’t b’s. She said ‘mom is not a b and curt is not a b’. Hey guys, I’m not a b. I’m b free.
doogie howser moment
This week I found out I wasn’t a b*tch. However there have been times I’ve acted like a little b*tch. Being scared of a thud is one of those moments. I guess being scared of touching the bathroom handle is also one of those moments too. Like I said I want to be back in the womb. I don’t have Fomo, I’d rather be just chilling at my house eating rice and beans.