fun fact about me
My brothers and I don’t drink anymore so when we go out we eat a lot.
my reaction: We don’t binge Busch, we binge burgers. We relapse on BBQ not Bacardi. Instead of taking shots we’re turning on croc pots. We don’t drink wine, we cook with wine. The only alcohol we drink is in our kombucha.
don’t dream it’s over
I don’t like when an actor who wins a Oscar, a singer who wins a Grammy, or when a athlete wins a championship say, “anything is possible if you work hard your dreams will come true.” I’m sorry to say that statistically speaking everyone can’t do their dream job. Everyone can’t achieve their dreams. There’s not enough dream jobs available. Someone has to do nightmare jobs. Someone has to clean the toilet, flip the burger, or pick up garbage. We all can’t be movie stars, athletes, or billionaires. That’s why I hate when athletes say anything is possible. No it isn’t. Someone’s got to work the dead end office job.
grandpa jackson
Parents need to think about naming their kids a little better. A lot of these names for kids don’t age well. They are cute for the first 5 years of the child’s life but then it’s just creepy when they get old. I don’t think the names Hunter, River, and Jackson age well. It’s cute when you’re 4 not 84. Grandparents shouldn’t have names like that. Grandpa’s should be name Tony. I feel like Tony is the perfect Grandpa name. You can’t be a Grandpa River, a Grandpa Forest, or a Grandpa Hunter. No one is going to take your serious. As a kid, you can’t take Grandpa River yelling at you seriously.
casserole technology
I’m sick of seeing casserole recipes on the internet. I don’t make them I’m just annoyed that other people eat them. Casserole is a dish of meat, cheese, and vegetables that you put in a oven that looks like mush. If you like food that looks like vomit in a dish then eat casserole. The name casserole doesn’t even sound appetizing. Casserole sounds disgusting. It sounds like @sserhole. Casserole is country food. It’s 60s food that should’ve retired in the 80s. Casseroles involve any kind of food you want. You can make taco casserole, lasagna casserole, or even sushi casserole. Leave normal food alone casserole. Stop trying to casserole everything.
gym people
There’s two types of people who go to the gym, one is the person who needs to be there and the other person who doesn’t. You ever see a person that’s too fit and your like “why are you even working out?”. You can’t get any better looking. You’re perfect. There’s no reason you need to be in the gym. You’re too fit. I don’t think working out is going to change anything. You’ve been blessed with good genetics. You don’t even have to eat healthy or work out that much, your just naturally fit. Stop going to the gym and let the people who need to be there have more space.
presidential dorks
Presidents need to stop wearing baseball caps. The past four presidents have all worn dorky dad hats. Stop trying to relate to us. You’re not like us. They got the dopiest hats on Earth. The hats are never nice. They look all beat up like they wear it a lot. Don’t they have publicists or a fashion designer. Get a real nice hat. Stop wearing hats like your attending a T Ball game. Wear a hat that commands respect not a hat that looks like your covering up a bad hair day. Have a little class and dignity. You would’ve never seen Abe Lincoln in a ball cap. He was too busy making moves in a top hat.
doogie howser moment
If you have a dream make sure it’s an achievable dream like starting a blog that 10 people read. Don’t dream big of being the President because statically you won’t. You can dream of being fit. That’s achievable. There’s a lot of drugs you can take to be fit. You can be a cook and master the art of casseroles. These are all realistically achievable, so when your old and grey you can tell your grandkids all about how Grandpa Forest micro doses his dreams.