intro
I went to Arizona without my family to visit another family.
my reaction: I left my family to visit my brothers who live in Arizona which has been having record temperatures for heat. Phoenix set a record for having 30 days in a row over 110 and that’s where I was going.
bud tender
I went to a dispensary while I was in Arizona. Why don’t they just call it a weed store? I qualified for a 25% discount because I was a new patient. They apparently call pot heads patients now. I’m not a patient, I’m trying to get high. I’m not going to ER, I’m picking up gummies. Patients don’t get high. Patients wear medical gowns and have bracelets. Patients get there vitals taken and talk with a doctor. I didn’t talk with a doctor but I did talk with a bud tender. They are basically your drug dealer but tell you how to get high. They recommend doses and what you should take for anxiety. I never had a drug dealer give me advice and care about my well-being.
plunger
I went to a health spa center designed to align my mind, body, and breath with the 4 elements of nature. It was therapy session that included compression therapy, red light sauna, hot tub, and cold plunge. It was an hour session for $49.00. I even had a “coach” that guided me through the cold plunge. My coach told me to breath, relax, and kept me calm. She started also started playing a drum. I didn’t need the drum. I could’ve done with out it. I have Spotify at home. I don’t want music, I want silence. I came out of the cold plunge shivering. She said that’s where the magic happens. Shivering is where the magic happens? I was shivering like a gazelle in the North Pole. The cold plunge was 38 degrees and I stayed in for 2 minutes. My nuts were so far sucked in my body it looked like I transitioned.
99 cents store
My brother loves the 99 cents store. The 99 cents store is just like the Family Dollar but cheaper. I usually end up small talk with employees f every place I go to when I’m out of town. Everyone seems friendly too, maybe I’m just more happy when I’m on vacation and people can feel that. The cashier and I talked about the heat and how I was out of town. She even told me to come back for New Years. I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to come back to Arizona for New Years or to the 99 cents. I was confused. Either way I’ll be back to the 99 cents store.
sock
On my last day of visiting my family my brother pointed out that I had a hole in my sock. I didn’t pay much attention. Who cares it’s just a hole. I can get by with a holey sock. That all changed when I had to take off my shoes when I went through TSA at the airport. The hole was on the heel so I tried to hide it by pulling some extra sock over it but it didn’t work. My heel was exposed. I like to have a little class when I travel but at this moment I didn’t. I’m sure that’s the reason they gave me a “random” pat down and checked my bags extra. They prob thought if this guy doesn’t care about his sock why does he care about anything. Always wear socks without holes in them if you plan to travel.
flush
Every time on the last day of vacation I have use the airport bathroom and this time was no different. I was in the bathroom stall at the Phoenix airport getting rid of all the food I consumed. It had an automatic flusher. Technology can be good sometimes but it can also be bad. Every time I wiped my hand would activate the automatic flusher. It must’ve went off 6 times during my wipe session. I indirectly made a airport bidet. It was like my own little old faithful in there. It’s like my anal went to Noah’s Ark it was so wet. No wonder there is a drought in the southwest.
doogie howser moment
Arizona was really hot but in retrospect that was a good thing. It’s the only thing you have to worry about. You don’t worry about anything else. It’s too hot to be anxious and sad. It’s a form of hot therapy. I didn’t need to pay $49 for a a sauna when it was 100 degrees out. I didn’t need to go to a dispensary to get high because I was already lit from the heat. The heat exhaustion made me feel high and thirsty. I’m glad there was a 99 cents store to buy cheap water. The heat didn’t make me care about my holey sock. In conclusion, the airport should keep auto flush toilets, it makes for a clean escape.