something I just thought of
the last real decade was the 90s
my reaction: The 1990s was the last decade that no kid grew up with a screen in their hand. I’m glad I was able to be part of that generation. How can I take advice from a kid who was born after the year 2000? What wisdom can they bestow on me? What can I learn from them? How to flip a water bottle. They are social media clones.
harmers market
Recently, I got farted on at a farmer’s market by some old guy. He didn’t have a care in the world. I was walking right behind him and he just let it rip. It was audible to him, his wife, and me. No one said anything. We all acted like it never happened. I was just trying to buy some fresh vegetables but instead I got some fresh fart air. All I wanted was a few organic cucumbers without pesticides but instead I got a old man crop dusting me.
party people
I was at a 4th of July party. It was fun. I had a blast. After I leave parties I like to rate people who I met. I like to do a review of who I liked, disliked, and which couple is going to get divorced. I try to guess the couple who was secretly fighting before they arrived. I scan the room to see what couple is miserable by which one drinks the most. I see the couple that never leaves each other’s side because one is too scared to be by themselves. I look at the couple who always plays with their kids because they are scared of interacting with adults. I love assessing people at parties it makes it a lot more enjoyable. Then I scan the room to see if anyone is doing the same and it’s just me.
breathe
I was looking at Airbnb’s for a weekend getaway and I noticed that there are a lot of lonely people. There are a lot of hosts that live in small towns that have rooms to rent in their own homes. Their rates are outrageously cheap. They are practically begging people to stay in their homes. There was one listing by a guy named Tom that read “Chill, Relax, Breathe”. You want me to breathe? That’s suspicious. And his nightly rate was $69. I’m not about sleeping in the same house with a single guy named Tom for $69.
rain on my parade
In general I don’t look at the weather forecast. I have a good idea of what the weather will be like each season. I dress by the season not daily. I can take a good guess of what to wear without knowing the exact temperature. I like to be surprised as well. It’s the risk I take. I might accidentally walk into a tornado but that’s the chance I take. If I get swept away in hurricane then it was my time. Too much of our life feels scripted. I like to be not in the know. The Armageddon is so much more enjoyable when you don’t know it’s coming.
play ground
My stepdaughter was grounded for one week because she lied to her dad. She wasn’t allowed to see her boyfriend and friends. I guess that’s a fair punishment. However, she was allowed to drive herself to get fast food. In the week she was grounded she went to McDonald’s twice, Cousins Subs, Corner Bakery, and Toppers. On the second night she was grounded she made Cake Pops. Her mom allowed her to go the store to buy frosting. She was celebrating her grounding by making cake. It sounds like she had too much fun being grounded. I want to be grounded so I can eat whatever I want.
doogie howser moment
I’m starting to become mature because I was farted on and didn’t care. I was able to take an old man fart like a man. Maybe I do have the courage to sleep at Tom’s AirBnB. I would’ve never been farted on if I looked at the weather because it was raining that day. That fart made me stronger. I guess I was preparing myself for all the fast-food farts that my stepdaughter was going to unleash from eating McDonald’s. In conclusion, I don’t mind the 2020s I can rate people at parties and get farted on.