something I did at the grocery store
helped a middle aged lady grab a bag of chips from the top shelf
my reaction: A lady asked me to reach for a bag of chips and I obliged. I like to feel useful. It made me feel good. I told her I would follow her around the store if she needed anything else she couldn’t reach. She wasn’t hot so I was able to get away with saying that. The bag of chips was bbq if anyone was wondering. If it was Doritos I wouldn’t have done it.
wipe out
I still wipe my 7 years old butt. It’s okay. I actually don’t mind. He gets 5 star service. He requests that I run water on the toilet paper and I do. I go above and beyond. I don’t even wipe my own butt that good. My son’s butt is cleaner than my adult butt. I’m out here doing dooty detailing. If people say my son is spoiled this is why. He is spoiled because he gets king like treatment for butt wiping. I’m an indentured servant to my son. He doesn’t get screen time, he gets swipe time.
teenado
My teen step daughters talk about having anxiety. They always talk about things that make them anxious. I think I know how to cure there anxiety. Stop watching tornado videos on YouTube. Stop watching hurricane highlights on TikTok. They watch natural disaster videos by the dozen. Of course you are going to be living in fear 24/7. I’d be in fear too if I did the same thing. I don’t watch natural disaster videos. I create my own natural disasters. I just need to eat cheese.
water bored
I visited my family in Arizona. I usually go once a year. It’s March and the weather was already in the 80s there. Everyone tells me to stay hydrated. You have to drink so much water just to stay alive. It’s challenging to drink so much water. I might as well walk around with an IV around me. I was self water boarding myself just so I wouldn’t get dehydrated. You know how teens carry there phones around them every where they go, I did that with water. I had Fiji on one hand and a Evian in the other. I didn’t do anything but drink water there.
dishes
We all live by a quote wether it be “you get what you get don’t throw a fit”, “less is more”, or “it is what it is”. We never call sayings out though. They get a free pass when they shouldn’t. We should question them more. There’s a saying “don’t dish it if you can’t take it”. I don’t think anyone can take it. We can all dish it though. So, if you can take it are you allowed to dish it non stop? I don’t think that’s right. I don’t want to know someone who can constantly dish it and take it. My feelings would be hurt a lot.
dog eat dog world
I want to start a hot dog stand. That’s my new goal in life. I’m not sure why I don’t even eat hot dogs. I feel like it’s the American dream though. Hot dogs are the epitome of America. I want to give what the American public wants and they want hot dogs. How many hot dog stands have gone out of business? I bet not a lot. People love hot dogs. They don’t even have to be good and people still eat them. I would sell organic hot dogs. It would contain 100% grass fed intestines.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, I want the American dream by selling hot dogs to people who don’t need them. I want to dish dogs but not take them. But if I never sell hot dogs it’s okay, I’ll help people. I’ll help people at grocery stores getting bags of BBQ chips. That’s the American dream too. I’ll help my son wipe his butt. I don’t mind I’ll be well hydrated. When your well hydrated you can do anything to avoid your own natural disaster.