one line for your mind one time
“My dad was never a helicopter parent… he was a “airplane parent”… he always took off”- me
dad stuff
I’m glad my dad wasn’t a strict father. I’m happy he wasn’t there. I would’ve had way more issues if he was a hard a$$. I didn’t have to live up to his expectations. When your dad is a deadbeat, you don’t have much expectations to live up to. You can just coast in life. I know some people who will never live up to their father’s high expectations. I feel really bad for them that they had a father that cared. That must’ve been tough. Not me. I’ll I had to do was just be. Simple as pie.
7th grade fashion
My 7th grade stepdaughter takes 1 hour to get ready before school. It makes no sense because after an hour of deciding what she wants to wear, she comes out in a t shirt and sweatpants. That’s all you came up with? A T shirt and sweats? That’s what took 60 minutes to figure out?I’ve seen the way kids dress in middle school, it’s atrocious. Even if they try they still look like dummies. It’s not like you’re making a big fashion statement. Your in 7th grade! I don’t remember anyone from when I was in 7th grade who had a sense of fashion.
crispy cremed
I’ve seen more Cremation billboards in Milwaukee than I’ve ever seen since the pandemic has started. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a billboard for a cremation company pre-COVID-19. The billboard says something like, “Cremations Starting at $999.” I don’t know if I’m supposed to get excited about that like ‘sure hope someone dies so I can get this deal on a cremation”. I get it, you’re running a business, you need to cash in on this pandemic, but it seems insensitive. They have them all over the city. I saw one while leaving the airport one day. I’m not sure if that’s the best place to put one. It made me think that if someone died in a plane crash, they wouldn’t need a cremation, the impact of the plane would’ve gave them a free “cremie”. There bodies would’ve been incinerated upon contact.
having a ball
I went to my first baseball game in 2 years at American Family Field, which is the new stadium name for the Milwaukee Brewers. I had a blast even though my team lost. It was the most interesting baseball game I’ve been to because I was on an edible. The guys I went with had 40 mg of edibles and 8 beers each, yet they were unfazed. They are in their younger 30s and single. They have built up single guy tolerance when it comes to drinking. If I had that much I would’ve charged the field naked until someone tackled me. I had 5 mg of edibles and here I thought I did too much.
bath water
I heard girls are selling bath water now to make money. I guess hot girls are taking baths, bottling it, and then selling their bath water to dudes. Someone told me that they are making up to $1,000 a jar. I wonder what I could get for a pint of my bath water? A tub full of body odor, grime, and pubes? There’s got to be a market for that. There’s some creep out there who’d buy my swamp water.
pulling back the curtains
Brad Miller played in the NBA from 1998-2012 for 6 different teams. He was the first player to be undrafted to make the All Star Team in 2002 while playing with the Sacramento Kings. He averaged 11 ppg, 7 rbg, and 2 apg for his career. Brad Miller doesn’t sound like a NBA player name. It sounds like the name of a college friend you didn’t like who went into accounting.
doogie howser moment
I shouldn’t be concerned with my step daughter taking an hour to get ready, unless she is making bath water to sell, then we have a problem. I guess it’s good to be annoyed by what your kids do because that means you care. If I didn’t care, I would be at a baseball game with single dudes on edibles and beer. If I ever became a deadbeat, cremate me alive. I think that’s a fair enough policy. But now I got to go, this plane has got to take off.