overheard by me
“uh oh…oops…should I apologize? ”- me at Bucks game after my bottle cap accidentally hit a lady in the head
my reaction: I shouldn’t have to ask someone to apologize, I should just do it.
wine and dine me
Last week, I took my gf to the Milwaukee Bucks first NBA playoff game against the Miami Heat. I thought I would wine and dine her. Treat her to something special. Make her feel like a queen. In reality, I asked her to pay for the ticket (which she still hasn’t paid for). In my defense, that’s a $50 ticket. She makes double my salary. I make half as much as her. She should be taking me out, wine and dine me, and make me feel like a king. Being that I paid $100 for 2 tickets, I snuck a bottled water in.
water sneak
So you ask “How’d I do it?”. How did I sneak a bottle of water in? Well, I put it in my crotch. It wasn’t my first time sneaking things in my crotch. There’s a benefit of having a small crotch, more room for sneaking stuff in. I’ve been notorious for sneaking in booze into sporting events, concerts, and bars. I would even sneak liquor into a bar where my friend bar tended. There was no need for that. He would give me free drinks anyways. But still I persisted and ordered a coke then mix my cheap rum in the bar bathroom . My go to move was putting ziplock bags of rum in my underwear. Most of the time the bag would break and I’d have rum soaked nuts. I remember the alcohol would sting my testicles. I don’t know why? Maybe it’s because I had small cuts on my nuts. That’s the price you pay to save money.
healthy thief
Nowadays I sneak in healthy options like spring water, fruit, and nuts. Yes… I sneak in nuts on my nuts. Its hard to find something healthy when you go to a sporting event. Your watching some of the best athletes in the world, yet people eat some of the worst food in the world. It’s ironic that all these fans are yelling at players for being “lazy” even those these fans are drinking beer, eating hot dogs, and stuffing cheese fries in their mouths. With all this cheering it was time to take a drink of warm crotch water.
cap misconduct
“Ahh”. It was refreshing. You all know the saying, “Warm crotch water is better than no water.” While placing the cap of my illegal water back on the bottle it somehow popped out of my hand, went flying 2 rows in front of me, and landed perfectly in this middle aged lady’s curly hair. Her hair was like a bird’s nest to my bottle cap. This is where “uh oh…oops…should I apologize?” came in. I tried making an effort to apologize but she did not hear me. She took the cap from her perfectly curled hair, and for some reason set it on the seat next to her. I don’t know why she was saving it. Maybe she is a collector of bottle caps. You know how some people collect beer caps and make table tops out of them. This lady could’ve been starting a table top full of plastic bottle caps. Moments later she had to get up from her seat. I thought she was on to me.
to cap it off
We were the only fans directly behind her. There was no way she didn’t think it was me. She had to know. As she walked by I had to hide my water so she wouldn’t notice a water bottle with a missing cap. I would’ve been caught dead in my tracks if she did. I even thought about apologizing 10 minutes later but I was advised by my gf not to do that. She was right. You can’t apologize 10 minutes after an incident that you were guilty of. You need to apologize right after the incident. You can’t let that linger. It’s strange and awkward if you don’t. “Hey… I was the guy who accidently “threw” that bottle cap in your hair 30 minutes ago… I’m sorry”. You just have to let it go and move on. So, that’s what I did.
pulling back the curtains
No one in the NBA has worn the number 59. I feel like some weird player would wear that number because it’s close to 69. “It’s not 59 it’s 69”. I would’ve been that weird player.
doogie howser moment
I often think of apologizing just for the sake of karma and not because I’m sorry. Karma is powerful thing. Plus, this lady looked like a very nice person. She deserved an apology. She would’ve apologized to me if she did what I did to her. I could’ve gave her the decency of closure but I didn’t. I just didn’t have the confidence. Sometimes lacking confidence can turn into not apologizing, and you know what I’m sorry for that.