the beautiful what?
I saw a book in one of those little free libraries called The Beautiful Nebraska. I thought it was fiction but it was not.
my reaction: Nebraska is beautiful? I never used the word beautiful to describe Nebraska. I think boring, lame, but not beautiful. I’ve also never been there so I shouldn’t judge. It could be great. I should’ve picked up the book to see if it was really beautiful but didn’t care enough to find out.
it’s like phones
I don’t like when people say “it’s like crack” in reference to a sweet that’s addicting when that person hasn’t even done crack. “Man these cookies are so good they are like crack.” Stop saying it’s like crack when your not even a user. Be more relevant and say something you have been addicted to like phones. Then you can say, “man these cookies are like phones.”
you fancy huh?
I went to PetSmart and saw they were selling parakeets. There were blue, grey, and rare parakeets all on sale for $31.99. How are the blue and grey parakeet the same price as a rare parakeet? Why isn’t a rare parakeet more expensive than a blue/grey parakeet? Doesn’t seem so rare to me. They were also selling a type of mouse called the fancy mouse. There is no mice in the world that I would call fancy unless that mouse is Ratatouille.
mi box
Remember when people use to say “mi casa su casa”. I wish I could say that but I can’t because “Mi casa is my gf’s casa.” It’s not mi casa, it’s her casa. I can’t tell people to come in, have a drink, or make yourself at home. I pay rent. She’s the landlord. I can’t have friends over without asking. That’s not proper etiquette. Do you think homeless people say, “mi box su box?” I’ll be lucky to say “mi apartment su apartment”.
under pressure
My gf’s divorced and I’m the guy she dated after the divorce so the pressure is on me. I’m the guy after the marriage. I’m supposed to be the upgrade. I’m in theory the better option. I’m supposed to be better than the last guy. You don’t downgrade after a divorce, you upgrade. I don’t know if I can handle this pressure. I want to be the guy who gets divorced, way less pressure. It’s a lot easier. I don’t want to be the home wrecker. I want to be the home that’s wrecked. I guess I am technically since I live in my gf’s house .
van go
Why are we still making white vans with no windows? Is there still a market for kidnapping? If you buy a white van with no windows you should be thrown in jail immediately or put on the national registry of creeps List. The minivan industry is at fault for creeps. Just like how people blame McDonald’s for obesity, I’m blaming the white van industry for the creation of creeps.
doogie howser moment
I hope when people read this blog they say it’s like crack but I’m sure they think it’s like fetenyal. Some people wonder why they make creepy mini vans, I wonder why I still write this blog. I wish this blog was fancy like mice at PetSmart but it’s more like Nebraska. I don’t know why I’m still writing but I like to think of Mi blog su blog. We’re in this together.