an article heading I read Tyson recalls 30,000 pounds of chicken nuggets my reaction: Tyson is recalling over 30,000 pounds of Dino shaped chicken nuggets. No one should be surprised by this. Chicken nuggets should not be shaped in a form of a Dinosaur. Dinosaurs are extinct. There’s no reason we should be forming chicken […]
# 188 “bald angel” Read More »
my new catch phrase “you know I don’t fux with no shrimmpppppppp” my reaction: My gf asked if I wanted to have seafood one night and I replied, “you know I don’t fux with no shrimppppppp”. I said it in a very annoying voice. I’ve been using it out of context every chance I get.
# 187 “no shrimps” Read More »
something my gf tells me when I complain go tell a tree my reaction: My gf stated that if she does things that annoy me I should not tell her but instead I should tell a tree. There isn’t a tree big enough to tell all the things that I’m annoyed by. Yes, I’m being
# 186 “tell a tree” Read More »
intro I can’t wait to be sun burnt at Christmas this year. my reaction: Global warming is coming so there’s a good chance I might be sun burnt for Christmas even though I live in the blistering winter of the Midwest. I might have to ask for sun block for Christmas. All I want for
# 185 “secret ingredient” Read More »
something I ponder The FDA recommends you eat 2000 calories a day. my reaction: How did they come up with that number? Exactly 2000 calories? Not one less, not one more. Has anyone ever adhered to the 2000 calorie daily intake? That seems like a hard number to nail down. That involves a lot of
# 184 “centenarian buffet” Read More »
not so fun fact about me I’m scared to fly alone. my reaction: I feel like an unaccompanied minor when I fly alone on on a airplane even though I’m 41. I know I’m technically not alone but I like to have another adult to accompany me just in case I need to hold someone’s
# 183 “ninja carl” Read More »
a license plate I saw ME B RITE my reaction: I would hate to get in a car accident with a person who had a license late ME B RITE. He or she would just keep repeating “Me b rite”. I would have to interject and say, “No. U B wrong.” shark bites I went
something I call my gf my illegal wife my reaction: I call my gf of 12 years my ‘illegal wife’ because we are not married. However, we have been living together for 10 years and have kids. We are a legal couple but we are illegally a married couple. kids lunch My gf makes our
a deep thought….maybe If you don’t get scared by horror movies are they still horror movies? my reaction: I have a friend who watches horror movies and he doesn’t get scared. He doesn’t think they are scary at all. They are normal movies to him. I’m quite the opposite. I get scared of horror movies
# 180 “binge good” Read More »
not so fun fact about me My arm pits smell like Arby’s. my reaction: My arm pits smell like a roast beef sandwich from Arby’s and I don’t even eat there. I haven’t had a sandwich from there in over 10 years. Why do my pits smell like a beef cheddar sandwich with extra horsey
# 179 “not about me” Read More »
