overheard in my brain “I have confidence in having no confidence”– my brain my reaction: Technically, I do have confidence then. baritone There is a guy at work who talks with a deep voice. I tend to match his tone when I talk to him. I don’t want my manhood to go down the drain […]
# 54 like Brad Lohaus Read More »
it all started when my neighbor asked “Hey… do you have any glue?” My reaction: Of course we have glue. We own a house. What kind of homeowner doesn’t have glue? glue-ten free My next door neighbor called my gf and asked to borrow some glue. What a strange thing to borrow from a neighbor?
# 51 like Michael Doleac Read More »
people’s response when I told them where me and my family were going on vacation “Your going to Florida!?!?”- everyone my reaction: Yea… we booked a family trip to Florida. Sure, it was during college spring break, it’s a covid hot spot, and Miami Beach was declared a state of emergency last week but life
# 50 like Bimbo Coles Read More »
overheard in a conversation I had in my head “Anyone else feel like we’re breezing thru this pandemic”-me to myself my reaction to myself: Not at all. go down a stream Aren’t you guys sick of people telling you how they don’t have cable like there better than you? They are always like “yeah we
# 47 Andrei Kirilenko Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “were going to IKEA” – my gf my reaction: Oh no. the beginning IKEA? I don’t even know what that means. I don’t think people at IKEA knows what that means. I think it’s an acorynom for I Knowingly Eat A$$ because that’s what you do when you
#45 like Shawn Bradley Read More »
overheard in a conversation I wasn’t in “that’s a TERRIBLE call!!!”– gf’s ex husband during his daughter’s basketball game my reaction: I guess my gf’s ex husband stood up in the middle of the stands and yelled “that’s a TERRIBLE CALL!” directly to the referee after his daughter was called on a free throw lane
# 44 like Brian Scalabrine Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “they demolished the fentanyl house two houses from us. Wooo!”- my brother my reaction: This is great news if your my brother. Bad news if you were the owner of this particular fentanyl house. If you don’t know what fentanyl is, it’s a highly addictive and deadly narcotic.
#43 like Frank Brickowski Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “I’m not going to interact with the public…. I’m high risk!”- coworker passionately talking about Covid while she was on her smoking break My reaction: She is talking about how she is high risk because of her age but she is puffing on a cigarette like there is
#42 like Vin Baker Read More »
“He’s a stalker but a funny stalker”- co worker of mine describing a guy that likes her my reaction: If your going to have a stalker they might as well be funny. if I only jelked While in college my roommate used to “jelk”. Jelking is the process of elongating your penis by pulling it
#41 like Michael Olowokandi Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “you have commitment issues”- my gf to me my reaction: She is half right and half wrong. But how do you explain the fact that I’ve been with you the last 12 years? Riddle me that. Checkmate. The ball is in your court. How can I have commitment
#40 like Calbert Cheaney Read More »
