something i do when i get mad at my gf take a dump in her toilet my reaction: I have the luxury of having my own bathroom but if my gf makes me mad (about something I shouldn’t be mad about) then it’s on. I like to drop a big fat one in her bathroom […]
something i say to my gf after I wake up after her oh… you’re up? my reaction: I say, “oh… you’re up?” after she has clearly been up for the last hour while I’ve been in bed. She already has made the kid’s lunches for the day, worked from home, and worried about life as
something people don’t experience nowadays getting lost my reaction: When’s the last time you’ve been lost? There is no way you can be lost anymore if you have a smartphone. I don’t have a smartphone. I got lost going to a bar that was 20 minutes away from house. There was a total of three
a couple costume idea I have for Halloween Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin my reaction: Some people in relationships like to do silly couple costume ideas for Halloween like mustard/ketchup, plug/socket, and Barbie/Ken. I want to switch it up. I want my gf to go as Michael Jackson, me as Macaulay Culkin, and then we
# 234 “my pumpkin” Read More »
something I overheard in a conversation i wasn’t in read the Bible you idiot! my reaction: I was at a festival recently and I talked to a bathroom attendant. A bathroom attendant is a festival employee that ensures the bathroom is clean. I asked him how many guys wash their hands and he said, “70%
# 222 “lego bible” Read More »
new habit i’ve started waiting to poop at work my reaction: I’ve been training my butt to poop at work instead of going at home in the morning. I don’t want to use my flush at home. I don’t want to stink up my bathroom. I’ve been working out my butthole. I do a lot
a ghostly tale I don’t like ghosts… especially ghosts that smell… because they have B.O.O. daddy dump care Every time I watch my baby daughter alone and have to poop I have take her into the bathroom with me. It’s out of necessity but mostly it’s out of safety. I don’t want her to be
overheard in a conversation I was in “oh…he ate all the bologna… not one slice…not a few…the whole package”- the janitor at work talking about the other janitor who ate her bologna my reaction: She was fuming about how her coworker ate all her bologna. I’m glad she can confide in me because it was
# 62 like Scott Pollard Read More »
people’s response when I told them where me and my family were going on vacation “Your going to Florida!?!?”- everyone my reaction: Yea… we booked a family trip to Florida. Sure, it was during college spring break, it’s a covid hot spot, and Miami Beach was declared a state of emergency last week but life
# 50 like Bimbo Coles Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “you can’t send this”…. “why not”….. “it’s smells like gasoline”- post office worker to my brother while he tried mailing family gifts for Christmas my reaction: My brother lost his sense of smell because of Covid so he didn’t realize a package he was sending smelled like gasoline.
# 39 like Greg Ostertag Read More »
