something I changed the meaning of DTF my reaction: I’m DTF. I am. Don’t judge me. I guess all parents are DTF. If I’m not DTF then I’m a deadbeat. I don’t want to be a deadbeat. If you have kids you have to be DTF. I’m Down To Family. proud flipper I’m a proud […]
something I shouldn’t be ashamed of but I am being the first person at the library when it opened my reaction: I didn’t realize it when I walked in the library at 10:00 am but I was the first one to get there. I felt like a nerd with no life. The librarians probably all
# 245 “playground ceo” Read More »
something my two year old keeps doing to me poking my nipple and laughing my reaction: One night my two-year-old kept poking my nipple and laughing. I’m not sure what prompted her to do this. She is already body shaming me. She is a body shamer. She is a real life troll. She is making
something i do when i get mad at my gf take a dump in her toilet my reaction: I have the luxury of having my own bathroom but if my gf makes me mad (about something I shouldn’t be mad about) then it’s on. I like to drop a big fat one in her bathroom
the first thing my two-year-old daughter says when she wakes up I want elmo my reaction: You don’t want mom or dad? The ones that keep you alive. You want one of the most annoying characters on Sesame Street. It’s 5:00 am. You need breakfast. Not a puppet who likes to be tickled and talks
# 241 “elmo nightmare” Read More »
something i told other parents while at the school playground the meaning of a whiskey pig my reaction: I told a few other dads the meaning of ‘whiskey pig’. I have a habit of bringing up topics that aren’t small talk. Small talk is boring. I had wondered if they used the term whiskey pig
# 240 “inflated pigs” Read More »
something i say to my gf after I wake up after her oh… you’re up? my reaction: I say, “oh… you’re up?” after she has clearly been up for the last hour while I’ve been in bed. She already has made the kid’s lunches for the day, worked from home, and worried about life as
something i say before my gf leaves for work my life is harder than yours my reaction: I’m finding new ways to annoy my gf. I like to play the victim card. Who doesn’t? It’s the era of victimization. I just say asinine things to see if she is just as petty as me. She
# 238 “wanna be hard” Read More »
something people don’t experience nowadays getting lost my reaction: When’s the last time you’ve been lost? There is no way you can be lost anymore if you have a smartphone. I don’t have a smartphone. I got lost going to a bar that was 20 minutes away from house. There was a total of three
a couple costume idea I have for Halloween Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin my reaction: Some people in relationships like to do silly couple costume ideas for Halloween like mustard/ketchup, plug/socket, and Barbie/Ken. I want to switch it up. I want my gf to go as Michael Jackson, me as Macaulay Culkin, and then we
# 234 “my pumpkin” Read More »
