Overheard in a conversation I was in “my grandson is a hoe”- the custodian at work My reaction: I hope my mom never has to say that about my son. I don’t think my grandma has ever said that about me. Maybe she said something like “he had a few accidents” but would never call […]
conversations with my brain not brian The only bar I go to is the one on my keyboard… the Spacebar. The Spacebar is the longest button on the keyboard but does the least amount of work. Why is the mouse on a computer called a mouse? I don’t like mice, so I call my mouse
#80 like Mr. Bubble Read More »
overheard thoughts in my head “we never carved pumpkins when we were kids… we were too poor… instead… we carved cucumbers… we were poor but healthy”- me in a different universe You ever order a everything bagel and it was just a something bagel? I never saw a turkey and a pig and said, “wow
# 79 like Scoobert Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “your grounded… gimme your phone”- gf to step daughter my reaction: My gf grounded her 8th grade daughter because she was hanging out with her friends too long. She was an hour late from being home on time. My gf “grounded her” meaning she took her phone away
# 76 like Shawn Bradley Read More »
overheard in a conversation I wasn’t in “you need to get your sh*t together”- girl in car talking to someone my reaction: I know she wasn’t talking to me but in a way I feel like she was talking to me. Actually, I think she was talking to the world. Everyone has some sh*t they
# 71 like Bob Wiesenhahn Read More »
overheard at Home Depot “you can’t run a company with a bunch of idiots”– guy on phone My reaction: Best dumb advice I’ve ever heard. It’s a true statement but doesn’t need to be said. We all know you can’t run a company with “a bunch of idiots”. I love this guy for saying this
# 70 like Dennis Rodman Read More »
a window decal I saw on a car as I drove by “Baby up in this b*tch” health rubs my reaction: While driving to the beach on Sunday I passed a car with a window decal that said “Baby up in this B*tch”. It was a spoof of the “Baby on Board” yellow decal that
# 68 like Milt Schoon Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “you need to start being a man”– me talking to my 4 year old son while filling water balloons My reaction: My son didn’t want to help with filling the water balloons so I told him straight up “you need to start being the man” because these water
# 67 like Taj Gibson Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “I sell elevators”- a guy I met my reaction: I never thought I would hear someone say “I sell elevators”. It caught me off guard. I’ve never even thought that was a job. I thought businesses just bought them from an elevator company. What confused me more was
#66 like Scott Pollard Again Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “your son’s going to have 10 kids by 10 different women!”- janitor at work talking about my three year old son My reaction: Well I’m glad she is confident about my son’s future as a womanizer. It hasn’t crossed my mind that he will be a dad yet.
# 65 like George Ratkovicz Read More »
