something I said to my girlfriend that I should’ve kept to myself “that dad is hot… I want to be his assistant coach”- me to my gf my reaction: The hot dad I was referring to was the coach of my step daughter’s soccer team. Let me give you a quick description of this guy’s […]
#63 like Coty Clarke Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “oh…he ate all the bologna… not one slice…not a few…the whole package”- the janitor at work talking about the other janitor who ate her bologna my reaction: She was fuming about how her coworker ate all her bologna. I’m glad she can confide in me because it was
# 62 like Scott Pollard Read More »
overheard a long time ago “Hey Coach… F*ck you!”- 5th grader to me when I kicked him out of soccer practice for punching another player my reaction: I had every right to kick this kid out of practice, he punched a kid. He told me to F off right before he got in his mother’s
# 57 like Hilton Armstrong Read More »
Intro For my 55th blog here is a compilation of 55 one liners I’ve wrote on napkins, receipts, and whatever else I can write my thoughts on. doing lines like Scarface A lot of my friends have dad bods…. none of them are fathers….they just like pizza. My feet are so dumb …once in high
# 55 like Jason Williams Read More »
overheard in my brain “I have confidence in having no confidence”– my brain my reaction: Technically, I do have confidence then. baritone There is a guy at work who talks with a deep voice. I tend to match his tone when I talk to him. I don’t want my manhood to go down the drain
# 54 like Brad Lohaus Read More »
one line for your mind one time “My dad was never a helicopter parent… he was a “airplane parent”… he always took off”- me dad stuff I’m glad my dad wasn’t a strict father. I’m happy he wasn’t there. I would’ve had way more issues if he was a hard a$$. I didn’t have to
#52 like Brad Miller Read More »
people’s response when I told them where me and my family were going on vacation “Your going to Florida!?!?”- everyone my reaction: Yea… we booked a family trip to Florida. Sure, it was during college spring break, it’s a covid hot spot, and Miami Beach was declared a state of emergency last week but life
# 50 like Bimbo Coles Read More »
phrases used in the media that I’m sick of hearing “we’re working with local officials” my reaction: Whenever someone says “they are working with local officials” they have no idea what they are talking about. That means they are buying time to make a decision or they are not doing anything about a situation that
#48 like Nazr Mohammed Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “were going to IKEA” – my gf my reaction: Oh no. the beginning IKEA? I don’t even know what that means. I don’t think people at IKEA knows what that means. I think it’s an acorynom for I Knowingly Eat A$$ because that’s what you do when you
#45 like Shawn Bradley Read More »
overheard in a conversation I wasn’t in “that’s a TERRIBLE call!!!”– gf’s ex husband during his daughter’s basketball game my reaction: I guess my gf’s ex husband stood up in the middle of the stands and yelled “that’s a TERRIBLE CALL!” directly to the referee after his daughter was called on a free throw lane
# 44 like Brian Scalabrine Read More »
