words of wisdom? “Life is not that bad if you have ice cream in the freezer” – me even though I don’t eat ice cream bankrupt metabolism I dislike my fast metabolism. It’s a strange thing to dislike. Most people would kill for a fast metabolism like mine but it’s more work. I’m sick of […]
overheard in a conversation I wasn’t in “I’d laugh if my boyfriend wanted me to wear a strap on”- random girl my reaction: Yes, she should laugh. That’s a laughable moment. I’d hope my gf would laugh at me too. I couldn’t imagine her saying to me in a sultry romantic voice “I’d love to
# 116 “art of war” Read More »
new idea for a holiday deadbeat day Instead of celebrating Father’s Day we need to start shaming the deadbeats. The fathers who aren’t there. They need to know. This day can also be dedicated to any kid of deadbeat, not just fathers. It could be a deadbeat friend, relative, or co worker. It could be
# 115 “horoscopes” Read More »
a horrible idea for a protein shake Slim Slow reaction: We’ve all heard of Slim Fast which is a meal replacement shake sold in packs of 4. I’m not sure how it’s working. I don’t think Slim Fast is working as fast it should. Why do you need buy packs of it if it works
something to ponder Do you think parents who name their kid “Jackson” named them after Micheal Jackson? reaction: I hope not. reaction to my reaction: I seriously hope not. piece It’s cool we live in an age where we can identify as anything. It’s true. You can be whatever you want just like your parents
#113 “sorry ms. Jackson” Read More »
maybe mid life I’m nearing 40 which means theoretically I’m heading for a mid life crisis. I also don’t drink so I will have to do this mid life crisis sober. Can I have a mid life crisis sober? I don’t think I can but will see. success bottom Every person I met who has
#111 “manufactured” Read More »
something that bothers me Elmo from Sesame Street talking in the third person new walk I’m trying a new confident walk with my shoulders rolled back, head high, and chest out. It feels very uncomfortable. I don’t like it. It makes me feel like I know things. I don’t want to look like I have
# 109 “no regrets” Read More »
from the observation desk You ever go to the library and be like “that kid doesn’t need to be tutored… he has glasses.’ public pjs I think it’s gross that the people wear pajamas in public. How do you sleep in the same clothes you wore all around town? You’re bringing all that “society” to
# 108 “squirreling around” Read More »
angel soft intro There’s a brand of toilet paper called “angel soft”. Are we supposed to assume angels are soft? What if angels aren’t soft? How do we know angels are soft? Is this tissue paper made out of dead angel skin? I don’t know why this is consuming my thoughts. I don’t think angels
# 107 “keep it clean” Read More »
intro Last week, I was on a college campus because of work. Everyone on campus is on a phone, laptop, or tablet at all times. They are never an arm’s length away from an electronic. While I was eating lunch I overheard a girl talking to her friend on the phone. I was sitting at
# 106 “the girl without the dragon tattoo” Read More »
