overheard in a conversation I was in while on vacation “we’re all going to get murdered- my 7th grade step daughter my reaction: I took a family trip to Florida. Notice how I didn’t say I took the family to Florida. I don’t have that kind of money. We stayed at a nice Air bnb […]
# 101 but not like those Dalmatians Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “our principal slept with one of the teachers”- 7th grade step daughter my reaction: My step daughter was telling me that one day her middle school principal was all of suddenly gone. She later found out he had slept with one of the teachers. By the way he’s
# 99 like Tacko Fall Read More »
children’s game I don’t understand Hungry Hungry Hippos my reaction: You guys remember the game Hungry Hungry Hippos? I want to know how are all these hippos still hungry? You’re telling me after all these years that these hippos are still hungry? They just can’t seem to curb their appetite? They should be hangry now.
# 98 like Chet Aubuchon Read More »
something I don’t like the “meat farts” my reaction: I don’t eat much meat but when I do I get what I call the meat farts. When you have the meat farts it smells very close to the meat you just ate. Every time I eat a piece of meat I can smell the animal
# 96 like Ron Artest Read More »
christmas gift I finally opened “oh? Coffee scented soap… my favorite…”- me being sarcastic my reaction: My gf got me a bar of coffee scented soap. I don’t know if you guys know me but I don’t drink coffee. I never have and probably never will. It was a kind gesture but again I don’t
#94 like George King Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “free day whoop whoop!”- me at the Zoo my reaction: I took my son on free day at the ZOO this past Saturday. As we walked in I kept saying, “FREE DAY.. WHOOP WHOOP!” loud enough so other people could hear me. I even included a little shimmy
observe some observations I saw a dog in the front seat of a car. Why don’t dogs wear seatbelts? If anything they should wear two seatbelts, it has 4 legs. Why are they called mini vans? Every minivan I’ve seen has been quite large. I don’t like pigeon toed people. That’s the only people I
# 86 like Semih Erden Read More »
convo with me and my gf Me: Which one is the everything bagel? Gf: Umm…the one with EVERYTHING on it. My reaction two days later: I don’t think that was a dumb question. The everything bagel does not have everything on it. I checked. It has some things. The everything bagel is just a sesame
#85 like Baron Davis Read More »
Overheard in a conversation I was in “my grandson is a hoe”- the custodian at work My reaction: I hope my mom never has to say that about my son. I don’t think my grandma has ever said that about me. Maybe she said something like “he had a few accidents” but would never call
thoughts with me brain I’m all about pronouns. I believe you should be addressed how you want to, but you know there is a some guy out there saying, “call me by my PRONOUN…. Bro and Brosef.” You know how you don’t know an answer to something like “what’s the capital of Arizona” and your
# 82 like Rupert Boneham Read More »
