If my girlfriend had to name our sex life after a current TV show it would be “Naked & Afraid”. neighborhood watch While driving home I like to look into people’s living rooms to see what they are watching on TV. I’m just so curious. It’s getting to the point where I know their schedule. […]
# 123 “flat screen time” Read More »
a question Do you think real drug dealers get tips from fictional drug dealers they see in movies? door dash My son goes to school with a kid in our neighborhood whose dad is most likely a drug dealer. I don’t have proof the dad is a drug dealer but all signs point to it.
deadbeat dad joke I have a mug that says “#1 DAD”. I’m not a # 1 Dad. I’m a # 2 DAD. Insert fart noises. pen quality I judge a business by how good their free pens are. If it works I trust your place of business but if it runs out of ink I’m
current events I’m so lame I’m asking my step kids to hang out with me and getting denied. my reaction: I don’t hang out with my friends anymore since I’ve started a family. I think it’s natural. It happens. Everyone has got their own plans. I’ve resorted to asking my teen step daughters to hang
just a thought Some people love to get lost in a good book. Not me. I NEVER KNOW WHAT FRICKEN PAGE I’M ON!!! deflect the reflect The health and wellness experts will tell us that we need to ‘self reflect’ as a means of finding happiness or meaning in our lives. Quite frankly, I’m sick
# 119 “the system” Read More »
words of wisdom? “Life is not that bad if you have ice cream in the freezer” – me even though I don’t eat ice cream bankrupt metabolism I dislike my fast metabolism. It’s a strange thing to dislike. Most people would kill for a fast metabolism like mine but it’s more work. I’m sick of
weed shower I went to the best baby shower ever. The expecting father was handing out joints. I said, “no thank you” because my 4 year old was right in front of me. He’s like, “don’t worry I brought an ounce.” Later in the party he gave me a handful of weed. No baggie. No
# 117 “onion money” Read More »
overheard in a conversation I wasn’t in “I’d laugh if my boyfriend wanted me to wear a strap on”- random girl my reaction: Yes, she should laugh. That’s a laughable moment. I’d hope my gf would laugh at me too. I couldn’t imagine her saying to me in a sultry romantic voice “I’d love to
# 116 “art of war” Read More »
new idea for a holiday deadbeat day Instead of celebrating Father’s Day we need to start shaming the deadbeats. The fathers who aren’t there. They need to know. This day can also be dedicated to any kid of deadbeat, not just fathers. It could be a deadbeat friend, relative, or co worker. It could be
# 115 “horoscopes” Read More »
a horrible idea for a protein shake Slim Slow reaction: We’ve all heard of Slim Fast which is a meal replacement shake sold in packs of 4. I’m not sure how it’s working. I don’t think Slim Fast is working as fast it should. Why do you need buy packs of it if it works
