Intro For my 55th blog here is a compilation of 55 one liners I’ve wrote on napkins, receipts, and whatever else I can write my thoughts on. doing lines like Scarface A lot of my friends have dad bods…. none of them are fathers….they just like pizza. My feet are so dumb …once in high […]
# 55 like Jason Williams Read More »
overheard in my brain “I have confidence in having no confidence”– my brain my reaction: Technically, I do have confidence then. baritone There is a guy at work who talks with a deep voice. I tend to match his tone when I talk to him. I don’t want my manhood to go down the drain
# 54 like Brad Lohaus Read More »
remember when people said…. “Get Money F*ck B*tches” my reaction: I do. I remember being at parties in college when some random wannabe from the suburbs would utter “Get Money F*ck B*tches” out of the blue and out of context. I would kinda uncomfortably fake laugh to appease them. These tools are the same types
# 53 like Alton Lister Read More »
one line for your mind one time “My dad was never a helicopter parent… he was a “airplane parent”… he always took off”- me dad stuff I’m glad my dad wasn’t a strict father. I’m happy he wasn’t there. I would’ve had way more issues if he was a hard a$$. I didn’t have to
#52 like Brad Miller Read More »
it all started when my neighbor asked “Hey… do you have any glue?” My reaction: Of course we have glue. We own a house. What kind of homeowner doesn’t have glue? glue-ten free My next door neighbor called my gf and asked to borrow some glue. What a strange thing to borrow from a neighbor?
# 51 like Michael Doleac Read More »
people’s response when I told them where me and my family were going on vacation “Your going to Florida!?!?”- everyone my reaction: Yea… we booked a family trip to Florida. Sure, it was during college spring break, it’s a covid hot spot, and Miami Beach was declared a state of emergency last week but life
# 50 like Bimbo Coles Read More »
another time a random guy tried selling me drugs “hey man you party?”- guy at gas station while I was on the phone with my mom while pumping gas my response: “No thank you sir.” Yes, I’m still polite even if it’s a stranger trying to sell me drugs while I’m on the phone with
# 49 like Shandon Anderson Read More »
phrases used in the media that I’m sick of hearing “we’re working with local officials” my reaction: Whenever someone says “they are working with local officials” they have no idea what they are talking about. That means they are buying time to make a decision or they are not doing anything about a situation that
#48 like Nazr Mohammed Read More »
overheard in a conversation I had in my head “Anyone else feel like we’re breezing thru this pandemic”-me to myself my reaction to myself: Not at all. go down a stream Aren’t you guys sick of people telling you how they don’t have cable like there better than you? They are always like “yeah we
# 47 Andrei Kirilenko Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “were going to IKEA” – my gf my reaction: Oh no. the beginning IKEA? I don’t even know what that means. I don’t think people at IKEA knows what that means. I think it’s an acorynom for I Knowingly Eat A$$ because that’s what you do when you
#45 like Shawn Bradley Read More »
