something I said to my girlfriend that I should’ve kept to myself “that dad is hot… I want to be his assistant coach”- me to my gf my reaction: The hot dad I was referring to was the coach of my step daughter’s soccer team. Let me give you a quick description of this guy’s […]
#63 like Coty Clarke Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “oh…he ate all the bologna… not one slice…not a few…the whole package”- the janitor at work talking about the other janitor who ate her bologna my reaction: She was fuming about how her coworker ate all her bologna. I’m glad she can confide in me because it was
# 62 like Scott Pollard Read More »
something to ponder Is a hot dog that’s cold still a hot dog or is it just a dog? my reaction: I’ve been thinking about this for a week straight. I’m losing sleep over it. I don’t even eat hot dogs and it’s consumed my life. I have yet to come to an answer. Now,
# 61 like Bevo Nordmann Read More »
tattoo I’ve seen that I can’t see anymore “Let it be”- my gf’s sister’s tattoo that she got removed my reaction: It’s a good tattoo if she just let it be but she didn’t. She had it removed months after getting it. Granted she was drunk when she got the tattoo. But it was a
#60 like Walt Kirk Read More »
overheard by me “uh oh…oops…should I apologize? ”- me at Bucks game after my bottle cap accidentally hit a lady in the head my reaction: I shouldn’t have to ask someone to apologize, I should just do it. wine and dine me Last week, I took my gf to the Milwaukee Bucks first NBA playoff
# 59 like no one again Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “you got no butt”- me to my brother for the last 20 years my reaction: I’d like to make a formal apology to my brother. There’s no reason I have to comment on his butt size. Why should I care if his butt is flat or not? His
overheard a long time ago “Hey Coach… F*ck you!”- 5th grader to me when I kicked him out of soccer practice for punching another player my reaction: I had every right to kick this kid out of practice, he punched a kid. He told me to F off right before he got in his mother’s
# 57 like Hilton Armstrong Read More »
Intro For my 55th blog here is a compilation of 55 one liners I’ve wrote on napkins, receipts, and whatever else I can write my thoughts on. doing lines like Scarface A lot of my friends have dad bods…. none of them are fathers….they just like pizza. My feet are so dumb …once in high
# 55 like Jason Williams Read More »
overheard in my brain “I have confidence in having no confidence”– my brain my reaction: Technically, I do have confidence then. baritone There is a guy at work who talks with a deep voice. I tend to match his tone when I talk to him. I don’t want my manhood to go down the drain
# 54 like Brad Lohaus Read More »
remember when people said…. “Get Money F*ck B*tches” my reaction: I do. I remember being at parties in college when some random wannabe from the suburbs would utter “Get Money F*ck B*tches” out of the blue and out of context. I would kinda uncomfortably fake laugh to appease them. These tools are the same types
# 53 like Alton Lister Read More »
