proof I’m still immature I looked at my phone and my battery was at 69%. I snickered. my name is I work at a non profit setting assisting families/clients in retaining employment. I check in with my clients and there guardians once per month through email, phone call, or text. One parent of a client […]
# 147 “lumberjack hippie” Read More »
a fact I made up that might be true You can blink with your eyes closed. know no notice I tell my gf I “notice” girls looking at me on a weekly basis. It could be true or all in my head. I sometimes mistake common courtesy for being ‘hit on’. I could be wrong
a time to reflect If you take a poop right before you shower, do you wash your hands in the sink before you shower or do you go straight to the shower without washing your hands? my reaction: I immediately wash my hands after I poop before I get in the shower. You should too.
# 145 “take flight” Read More »
intro You know how am I doing good in life? I saw a quarter on the ground and walked right by without picking it up. my reaction: Years ago I would’ve picked that quarter up but now I’m financially stable. I looked George Washington right in the eye and said, “not today”. You may have
# 144 “keep the flame” Read More »
drug kid You should drug your kids. If your kid is not sleeping, you should give them melatonin. It’s technically a dietary supplement but it’s much more fun saying drug. It’s a “drug” that will put your kid to sleep. Start supplementing, I mean ‘drugging’ your kids now. e friendly I learned that people at
# 143 “lil smokie” Read More »
something I ponder Why doesn’t the gingerbread man have red hair? give me storm When the media says there’s going to be a huge snowstorm I want it to happen. I love a good snowstorm. I love blizzards. I like when the norm is disrupted. Also, if you spend days talking about a snowstorm and
# 142 “stone storm” Read More »
my weekly unprovoked rant I hate when my gf shops at Costco. No one needs to buy in bulk nowadays. They needed Costco in the 1800s when families were 12 deep and you had to feed the kids to keep the farm running. Families are smaller now and kids do less. They don’t need snacks.
# 141 “bum strips” Read More »
the stuffed son My son was constipated the other day so I asked him how his butt was after we gave him a suppository and he said, “super good”. the last x mas tree I bought a Christmas Tree for the first time with my own money. Usually, I rely on my gf (the breadwinner)
# 140 “the last tree” Read More »
ponder this If a hot dog is cold is it still a hot dog? house thoughts I love leaving the house. It’s mandatory that I leave the house because if I don’t I start to act crazy. I don’t like being at the house because I’m too comfortable. Only crazy people are comfortable. Being home
# 139 “escape room” Read More »
one line for your mind one time I used to date a ghost… yeah she was my boo. gravy yard Why do menus at restaurants or cafeterias at school/work try to recreate Thanksgiving meals during the week of Thanksgiving? There’s a reason people only eat “Thanksgiving Food” once a year, it’s heavy, it’s thick, and
