something i told other parents while at the school playground the meaning of a whiskey pig my reaction: I told a few other dads the meaning of ‘whiskey pig’. I have a habit of bringing up topics that aren’t small talk. Small talk is boring. I had wondered if they used the term whiskey pig […]
# 240 “inflated pigs” Read More »
something i say to my gf after I wake up after her oh… you’re up? my reaction: I say, “oh… you’re up?” after she has clearly been up for the last hour while I’ve been in bed. She already has made the kid’s lunches for the day, worked from home, and worried about life as
something i say before my gf leaves for work my life is harder than yours my reaction: I’m finding new ways to annoy my gf. I like to play the victim card. Who doesn’t? It’s the era of victimization. I just say asinine things to see if she is just as petty as me. She
# 238 “wanna be hard” Read More »
something I’m too old to do sneak into an apple picking orchard my reaction: I snuck into an Apple orchard with my son and daughter. This wasn’t a big scheme where we dressed in black, hopped a fence, and stole apples at night. In reality, we went to an apple orchard during the day and
# 237 “apple regrets” Read More »
something people don’t experience nowadays getting lost my reaction: When’s the last time you’ve been lost? There is no way you can be lost anymore if you have a smartphone. I don’t have a smartphone. I got lost going to a bar that was 20 minutes away from house. There was a total of three
something I’ve been doing lately reading self-help books on the toilet my reaction: It’s great. I can work on myself while on the toilet. It’s a win win. It’s very efficient. I’ve been eating a poor diet just so I can work on my mind, body, and spirit. My gut is in trouble but my
# 235 “porcelain help” Read More »
a couple costume idea I have for Halloween Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin my reaction: Some people in relationships like to do silly couple costume ideas for Halloween like mustard/ketchup, plug/socket, and Barbie/Ken. I want to switch it up. I want my gf to go as Michael Jackson, me as Macaulay Culkin, and then we
# 234 “my pumpkin” Read More »
worst quote ever fake it til you make it my reaction: What if I never ‘make’ it? What if I faked it my whole life and never made it. I’m just going to be real. I’m going to fake faking it until I make it. all bottled up If I ever became a thief I
# 233 “strawed out” Read More »
something i wish for summer to be over my reaction: I want summer to be over. It sounds like a strange wish but I do. I’m sick of the nice weather. I want it to be cold. I want extreme weather. I want thunderstorms, snow, or even a tornado. Give me something new Mother Nature.
something i’ve been saying a lot free the nipple my reaction: Lately, I’ve been asking my gf to free the nipple. I’ve asked her several times throughout the week to ‘free the nipple’. However, she has not freed the nipple. Her nipple is still in captivity. She needs to be free from societal norms, our
