a window decal I saw on a car as I drove by “Baby up in this b*tch” health rubs my reaction: While driving to the beach on Sunday I passed a car with a window decal that said “Baby up in this B*tch”. It was a spoof of the “Baby on Board” yellow decal that […]
# 68 like Milt Schoon Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “I sell elevators”- a guy I met my reaction: I never thought I would hear someone say “I sell elevators”. It caught me off guard. I’ve never even thought that was a job. I thought businesses just bought them from an elevator company. What confused me more was
#66 like Scott Pollard Again Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “your son’s going to have 10 kids by 10 different women!”- janitor at work talking about my three year old son My reaction: Well I’m glad she is confident about my son’s future as a womanizer. It hasn’t crossed my mind that he will be a dad yet.
# 65 like George Ratkovicz Read More »
something I said to my girlfriend that I should’ve kept to myself “that dad is hot… I want to be his assistant coach”- me to my gf my reaction: The hot dad I was referring to was the coach of my step daughter’s soccer team. Let me give you a quick description of this guy’s
#63 like Coty Clarke Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “oh…he ate all the bologna… not one slice…not a few…the whole package”- the janitor at work talking about the other janitor who ate her bologna my reaction: She was fuming about how her coworker ate all her bologna. I’m glad she can confide in me because it was
# 62 like Scott Pollard Read More »
tattoo I’ve seen that I can’t see anymore “Let it be”- my gf’s sister’s tattoo that she got removed my reaction: It’s a good tattoo if she just let it be but she didn’t. She had it removed months after getting it. Granted she was drunk when she got the tattoo. But it was a
#60 like Walt Kirk Read More »
overheard in a conversation I was in “you got no butt”- me to my brother for the last 20 years my reaction: I’d like to make a formal apology to my brother. There’s no reason I have to comment on his butt size. Why should I care if his butt is flat or not? His
overheard a long time ago “Hey Coach… F*ck you!”- 5th grader to me when I kicked him out of soccer practice for punching another player my reaction: I had every right to kick this kid out of practice, he punched a kid. He told me to F off right before he got in his mother’s
# 57 like Hilton Armstrong Read More »
Intro For my 55th blog here is a compilation of 55 one liners I’ve wrote on napkins, receipts, and whatever else I can write my thoughts on. doing lines like Scarface A lot of my friends have dad bods…. none of them are fathers….they just like pizza. My feet are so dumb …once in high
# 55 like Jason Williams Read More »
overheard in my brain “I have confidence in having no confidence”– my brain my reaction: Technically, I do have confidence then. baritone There is a guy at work who talks with a deep voice. I tend to match his tone when I talk to him. I don’t want my manhood to go down the drain
# 54 like Brad Lohaus Read More »
